Truth Is...

I survived the first week of the second semester! Although I feel as though I'm already lightyears behind in work. From the sounds of it I am not the only person to be feeling like this, though, so that makes things slightly better. The real problem is that I haven't been sleeping. This has never happened before, or at least to such an extend that I get so tired around 3:00pm that I fall asleep no matter what I'm doing. I've been going to bed early and everything, but for some reason sleep only comes four hours at a time. After that I'm wide awake for at least an hour. I don't know why but I would really appreciate it stopping.

Ever look for signs that something is going right? I do. I know it's absurd and there's no evidence to back up these "signs" that something is going to end up alright but it's comforting to look at events and be reassured the choices I make are at least on the right path. I've been looking for signs about this semester, whether it's going to be a good one or a bad one. So far I've only had bad signs. First the sleep, then my favorite necklace broke in the shower. The chain fell off and the pendant shattered on the floor. I feel naked without a necklace around my neck. It just feels wrong. I also can't seem to focus on anything, no matter how hard I try I can't bring myself to start my work. There isn't even that much that needs to be done but I can't bring myself to focus enough to do it.

There's something else too. I've been very unhappy lately. I can't seem to put my finger on it and it scares me to admit it out loud but I can't seem to kick this feeling. And it doesn't make sense, it's the start of a new semester, new classes and another chance to do better. But with this constant nagging of unhappiness in the back of my mind I can't focus when I'm in class. I think that might be why I can't sleep at night either. It needs to go away because I need to do well this semester, I need to prove to myself that I can be on Dean's list again. I don't know what to do.

I miss this face:

 Nice and clean!

This is the picture I got this morning. I love the angry cat in the background.